There's a special mailbox tucked into a quiet walking trail in quaint Hinesburg, Vermont. For more than a decade, its origin story was unknown. In 2020, the person who originally installed it finally fessed up. It was Barry Lampke. He'd been missing the connection he had shared with his father before his death. They used… Continue reading Immortal Mail
An essential part of a doula practice is introspection. When I am granted access to the most profound moments in another person's life, I can't help but be moved. And changed. Sometimes I'm even rattled. Almost always, I am awed. If this weren't to happen, it'd be an indication that I had closed off my… Continue reading Life Goes On
As it tends to happen, I just had THE MOST INCREDIBLE experience (namely, leading a retreat in Portugal), but it was bookended with heartache. Before leaving for the retreat, my dear Gram had a serious fall and was gone within a week. Although she wasn't ever actually terminally ill (which made getting hospice care difficult), she announced… Continue reading Layers of Loss
If you know me at all as a doula or death lit writer, you know I reference “intensity” far more often than “suffering.” This is because intensity—during birth, death, or grief—is pretty much a given. Whether it’s felt by the person actually journeying through or those surrounding them, and whether it’s emotional, physical, spiritual, or… Continue reading Attending to Suffering: Helplessness and Proximity
To know him was to know connection. Bob "Hoff" Hoffman was a brilliant bundle of energy. He lived zestfully and died prepared. Hoff first reached out to me in 2019 after attending one of my death literacy events. We met for coffee and became fast friends. Always a supporter of my work and books, he… Continue reading Harmonically Ours
Francesca Lynn Arnoldy 