Happiness Is…

(Originally published on the WOW: Women’s Older Wisdom blog)

One of the ongoing entries in my Death Journal has been my “Happiness Is” list. When I revisit this particular section, I see evidence of numerous additions. There are different inks, and my handwriting varies as well. Some of the initial entries are large as though I never imagined filling the entire page. More recent additions are smaller, squeezed in next to others as space is now quite limited. My aim is to share what makes my heart beam in hopes that when my loved ones are reading it, they might smile in response. 

Happiness Is… 

You might find meaning in drafting your own “Happiness Is” list. As you begin this reflective exercise, first ask yourself: What does happiness mean to me? What does it feel like? Is it deep satisfaction? Uplifting joy? Is it a blend of many sensations? 

And now, however you have defined happiness, allow yourself a stroll down memory lane to recall as many moments of it as possible. Where do you find yourself in these memories associated with pure happiness? Are you dancing to live music? Is there a purring cat snuggling in your lap? Is happiness a big bowl of salad with homegrown vegetables? Is it skiing in fresh powder, swimming in a clear lake, or some other kind of physical activity? Is happiness time spent with certain friends or family members? Is it time spent alone? Use the following page to write your list of happiness sources. Your entries can be brief or lengthy or a combination of the two. 

Reflections 

Are you smiling or chuckling as you reminisce about happy times? Are your eyes welling up with tears? Are there common themes present within your list, like connection, nurturance, or quiet solitude? Are there more planned events or seemingly random ones? Have there been certain seasons of your life flush with happiness? The answers you have written in your list will likely have positive associations with enjoyable times. Take time to relish and bask in these memories. 

Contemplating happiness brings us closer to our core. As children, we tend not to filter bliss. We express it without a second thought. As we age, we often become more reserved. Have you stopped to wonder why? Of course, not every setting will be an appropriate one to launch into a happy dance, yet are we allowing ourselves the opportunity at all? Anywhere? At any point? Can you extend an invitation to yourself to celebrate delight without reserve? Now that you have spent time compiling happiness into list form, you might notice and welcome even more doses of joy in the days to come. You now have a heightened level of awareness. You might also find yourself seeking out opportunities that promote happiness.

How might you invite and integrate enjoyment more often? 

Excerpted from: The Death Doula’s Guide to Living Fully and Dying Prepared

In this interactive workbook, community doula and death literacy advocate Francesca Lynn Arnoldy offers readers a guided tour through topics like death anxiety, mortality awareness, compassion, and connection. This contemplative publication is geared toward anyone wanting a more intentional approach to living and dying as well as those beginning or updating their end-of-life plans, those with serious/terminal conditions, people ready to create remembrance gifts for loved ones, and deathcare providers seeking more tools. It includes personal stories, professional anecdotes, and practical activities throughout with sensitivity to all belief systems, cultures, identities, and histories of lived experience—inviting readers to modify and customize as needed to ensure alignment.