My initiation into the realm of end-of-life care presented itself unexpectedly when my grandfather was dying. I showed up largely unprepared for what I was entering into, which is the case for all doula work, truly. We don’t know exactly what will be asked of us or how we’ll support ahead of time. My grandmother… Continue reading Death Doula Initiation
Recently, I supported friends through the heartbreak of goodbye. They had imagined a full life together, and now this vision was being swiftly revoked, before their youngest would even start kindergarten. I visited and together we worked on drafting legacy letters. One of this friend’s deepest fears was his children not remembering him. As his… Continue reading Finding What Resonates: Trial and Error in Doula Work
I took my reflection walk in nature, and by "nature," I mean a large parking lot located across the street from where I've been staying during quarantine. It's one of the only places I can walk where I'm certain I won't run into anyone else, and though it's not the most romantic of locations, I… Continue reading The Walk of Grief
As doulas, we enter into our clients’ end-of-life and grief journeys as our(whole)selves. This includes not only kindness and patience, but also our conditioning and shadows as well. We are not empty vessels. We carry hushed reminders of past trauma, unhealed wounds, and unrecognized assumptions. We are not void of dynamic humanness—thankfully so. In truth,… Continue reading Whole Selves and Shadow Sides: A Balanced Doula
In memory of Nancy Hays Gurney, Jan 4, 1956 – May 3, 2005 Forever 49. Frozen in time. It has been too many years since the world has seen your smile. Since I’ve felt your hug squeeze the breath out of me, your soft raspberry bathrobe against my cheek. Since I’ve heard you use my… Continue reading On Knowing Enough
Francesca Lynn Arnoldy 